Thursday, August 9, 2012

Dark Magic: Chapter 1: Part 1: Driving into Trouble

So, this is the first part to my four chapter series i am currently writing. I dont know how many parts i am going to post of the first part, all i know is i'm still writing the first chapter, and i will release the chapter into sections. PLEASE GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS ON HOW I CAN IMPROVE MY WRITING. i cannot stress that enough. i take criticism well, so lay it on me. did you hate it, did you love it, what you would have done different, anything. So, This is a story ive been thinking about for a while. it kind of combines two genre's, fantasy and horror, at the same time. The main character's name is David Sav, who is a college student who lives in California. He's visiting home when things take a turn for the worst. i cant give too much away, so just read on :D/



David sat in the passenger seat in his friend Jason’s car, the trees and the clouds rolling past him as they went. Jason stared straight ahead at the road, but David played with his phone, hoping to somehow get a response from her. All he wanted was his phone to beep, and for her name to come up and say something to him. It didn’t have to be anything specific, just anything. It was driving him crazy to wait any longer.
“You know radiation poisoning is more common if you have your cell phone to close to your face.” Jason remarked.
All he could reply to was, “Shut up.”
That’s just how things were. Jason and David have been best friends, since he was eleven years old. Jason knew how much David cared about her, so he didn’t say anything and just let it roll right off his shoulder.
“You just had your phone out the entire time we were in the car. I’ve had to drive, listening to Rihanna and Ke$ha that whole time, and you’re just staring at your phone. Not doing anything, just staring at it. I’m completely shocked that your phone hasn’t died yet. That wont help you see her sooner.” David had never mentioned it to Jason, but he could see right through him. He always could.
“Well, having a long distance relationship isn’t easy. The fact that she’s right back at San Francisco makes it even harder.” David put his phone in his pocket and looked out the window. “I would have left with her.”
“I would have tied you to the flagpole than let you drop your education like that, for a girl. Well, for Rosa at least.” Jason spat out his cigarette in the ashtray next to the glove box. “Rosa isn’t worth ruining your life for, even with my family mixed in.”
San Francisco was our home. I’ve lived in America my whole life, and Jason’s family moved from London when he was about 13. The two of us met in junior high, and when his parents found out that I was living in an orphanage, they took me in pretty quick. From the time I was eleven till the time I was eighteen, I relied on my best friend’s family for everything. Jason, His parents, and his sister.
Rosa… well, Rosa was Jason’s cousin. I met her when her family moved close to the Harpers, Jason’s family, when I was fourteen. I fell in love with her instantly. Jason didn’t like her at all, not one bit. When he found out that I had a crush on his cousin, he tried introducing me to every other girl he was friends with, but I only had eyes for her. Jason thought it would fade, but it never did. She was just so funny, and smart and beautiful; it was hard for me not to fall in love with her. The problem wasn’t even because I was shy, it’s because Jason made it hard for me to. He wouldn’t leave me alone with her, and tried everything to keep us apart. When Jason had finally let me do it, I was seventeen, a senior in high school and accepted to attend the Seattle Medical Institute up in Seattle.
It was only a few months ago when Jason, Rosa, and I left San Francisco to attend the medical program at the Seattle Institute. I was studying to be a nurse, James was studying to be a surgeon, and Rose was studying to be a Pharmacist. “Really? You think she isn’t worth it?”
“I’ve been telling you she isn’t worth it, ever since she moved next door.” Jason said. “Any girl who gives up the chance to study at one of the top universities in the country just to come back to this shithole and do what? Work at Borders on minimum wage? Rather than becoming a person with a good job and a family? She’s stupid. You always deserved better than her.”
“How do you know she would have had a family?” David asked.
“Because you two are crazy about each other. All I can hear about from my parents is how much Rosa is a wreck, and how much she misses David. How much she regrets leaving.” Jason took a left turn through the Sun-shone lane. “What ever happened with her?”
“I don’t know.” David told him. “I barely remember her leaving.”
“Of course you don’t remember her leaving, because she never told us. She just left in the middle of the night, didn’t say anything to either of us.” He looked over at David for a split second before he looked back at the road. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this from me, but she doesn’t deserve you.” Jason said.
“Right about that.” he tried to stop him.
“Do you honestly think she cares? I got more messages from my Dad than I did from Rose. I’m sure it was the same situation with you.”
Jason’s Dad was found cheating on his wife during our senior year. Jason’s mom found out during our graduation. She made this whole scene in front of the entire school. That was probably the worst day of Jason’s life. The fact that he was leaving high school didn’t make it any better for him. After his mom kicked his dad out, he just left the state. He moved to Indianapolis with this girl that just got out of college. That was the last time that anyone had heard from him. He never called, never made any kind of contact with Jason or Lyra, Jason’s sister. Anyway, I just listened to him go on and on about how Rose wasn’t right for me, and how I should find someone else, like Tracey from Anatomy class. When James finally parked the car, I jumped out as fast as I could, making my way to the front door. James could see right through me, which also meant he could see when I was angry.
After the doorbell performed its little tune, someone opened the door. It was a middle-aged woman with greying-red hair and wrinkles wrapping around her eyes. Georgina Harper, Jason’s mom. “Boys, welcome home,” she chuckled. She gave David a hug, and then gave Jason a bigger hug. They stepped inside Georgina’s new house, the one she just bought a few neighborhoods away from her old house. There were old pictures of her kids up on the walls, a staircase by the front door leading up to the second story, and separate rooms past the staircase. Georgina motioned them inside and led us in the living room. David saw a dark-skinned guy with flaming red hair and a pale guy with strawberry blonde hair. One wearing a gold jacket and the other wearing a blue T shirt. Felix Johnson and Lucas Harrison, friends of ours since high school.
“Davey! Jace! You guys are home!” Lucas said sarcastically.
“Welcome back!” Felix greeted.
Louis was one of Jason’s friends. I met both James and Louis at the exact same time at school, but I just became better friends with James. He was the only one that could call me “Davey” and Jason “Jace.” Even after all that, he was just an American/French guy who was full of himself. I never did like him all that much, but he was a good friend of James’.
Felix was more of my friend than James’. He was a kind, caring guy who cared about the people he loved. His parents are divorced, and his family lived in Australia until a couple years ago. He still has the same Australian accent. Whenever Jason was with Lucas, I would always hang out with Felix. He was one of the people I missed the most when I left for college.
Jason was laughing as he walked in the door. “What are you guys doing here?” we joined him in the bonus room in the basement.
Lucas was playing Xbox with Fred in the bonus room. “Well, were here babysitting, because your mom was about to leave.”
I looked at him skeptically. “Lyra’s seventeen.”
“Yeah, she and Henry got into a little trouble about a month ago. She apparently went to the mall with a couple friends and was caught shoplifting at a Hollister.” Felix told us. “Henry was also with her. She got into a hell of a lot of trouble. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t even left the house, since summer started over a month ago for them.”
“Wait wait wait. Back up. Lyra and Henry were shoplifting?” James was awe-struck.
“It surprised everyone. Georgina wouldn’t let her get one of those REALLY short skirts, so she just stole it instead.” Louis commented.
 “Okay, so why are you both here?” David asked.
“Because were roommates, and because we don’t have an Xbox.” Felix replied.
“Wait, you guys are roommates?” Jason asked.
“No one told you? We got an apartment in downtown San Mateo a couple weeks after you guys left for college.” Lucas told us.
“What?” David asked skeptically.
“Yep, me, Lucas, and Kimmy.” Fred said.
“Yea, but eventually Kimmy moved out and Rosa and her both got an apartment in the same complex.” Lucas continued.
Jason was determined to change the subject. “How are you guys paying for an apartment in San Mateo? You guys aren’t using—“
“No, of course not. How can we? The pixie force is on our ass all the time.” Lucas complained.
“Why?”
“Because of the whole thing with Lyra. They thought she used her powers to steal the skirt and so now everyone that has ever come in contact with Lyra Harper is instantly a police suspect.” Lucas replied.
Did you figure out our secret yet? The Harper family, along with every relative of the Harper family, as well as countless other families, has the ability to use different powers. Everyone in the bonus room could use it, Lyra and Henry could use it, Rosa could use it, both of Jason’s parents could use it, most of the Harpers could use it. I didn’t start learning what my powers were until I moved in with Jason, and  Mr. Harper, gave me some ideas about what my powers were and told me to just play around with it. I didn’t realize I was an elemental until then, but somehow, I knew I could use my powers whenever I wanted.
I think it’s about time I tell you who I am. My name is David Sav. I’m an orphan that was originally born in England. From what I remember, I thought I was a good kid. When I turned six, I got into some trouble, and my powers were out of control. After that, they transferred me to the U.S. I remember living in that orphanage, silent as hell. Until the day I turned eleven, when I met James and Louis for the first time. They actually came up to me. Since then, the memories of what happened thirteen years ago still haunted my dreams to this very day. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to escape.

David stood up and started to head back up the stairs. Jason noticed and tried to follow him. “Where are you going?”
David stopped for a minute. “I’m going to the complex. I…gotta talk to Rosa.” David continued to head up the stairs, and James stopped David.
“Wait a second.” Lucas stopped me. “What happened to the Bros before Hoes rule?”
“Right now would be a great time for you to shut up.” David snapped. “Felix, could you give me the address of the apartment?”
“How bout I just go with you?” Felix offered.
“That’d be great.” David smiled.
“Yea, let’s all go.” Lucas said.
“Nah, you and Jason stay here. Someone has to stay with Lyra.” Felix told him.
“Whatever.” Lucas mumbled as he returned to the Xbox. Jason sat next to him and picked up the controller.

David stared at the highway as Felix sat next to him setting up the GPS. “The GPS isn’t working. I can just let you know where to go.”
“Why isn’t it working?” David asked.
“Lucas was messing with it for some reason, and now it isn’t working for anyone.”
“And another thing broken by Louis.” David remarked.
Felix shrugged.
“I have no idea why you put up with him.” David began. “He is rude, bossy, a total douche, a prick, an asshole, not to mention he’s totally full of himself.”
“Well, we all have our flaws.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I just mean we all have reasons people don’t like us. Jason plays pranks on everyone, Kimmy is too hyper, Rosa is dramatic about nothing sometimes, and I’m gay, so not a lot of people like me.”
David just didn’t reply and kept staring at the road. Everything he said was true.
“Listen, it’s not like I’m saying Lucas isn’t all of those things, but I just generally don’t judge a book by his cover. Lucas is really a nice kid when you get to know him, he just doesn’t really show people who aren’t his close friends a lot of respect.”
David just scoffed. They spent the next couple hours talking about how nice Seattle was, and about the classes and the teachers. They arrived in the apartment complex, on the corner of the road. There were only a few cars in the parking lot, and the floors of the apartment only went up to 4. David and Felix both got out of the car. Felix walked ahead of David and led him to the front door of Rosa’s apartment, floor 1, room 108.
Felix knocked on the door. “Kimmy, open up!” No answer. Fred knocked again. “Kimmy!”
This time the door opened, to reveal a dark-skinned girl wearing no makeup. She had short, tidy black hair and chocolate brown eyes that lit up when she looked at David. “Holy shit!” Kimmy jumped up and wrapped her arms around David. “Hi!”
“Hi…” David skeptically answered back to Kimmy.
Kimmy kept smiling as she started battering David with questions. “How was Seattle? Are you doing well? Where are you staying? When are you leaving?”
Felix was quick to respond to this. “Kimmy, shut up. We need to see Rosa.”
Kimmy folded her arms. “She isn’t here.”
Felix and David exchanged looks.
That’s how Kimmy was. Will accidentally stall, but will be quick to the point when pissed off. Felix’s sister was always like that.
Felix rubbed his temple. “Then where is she?”
“She’s at work. Just left an hour ago.” Kimmy replied.



 I know, it isnt much, and it's probably a little boring, but it will climax, i promise. it will get more interesting, but an introduction was needed. So, that was it. i currently finished around half of chapter 1. keep in mind, these will be large chapters. if you have any suggestions or questions, just comment on this post!
 ~Kai Quinn

Welcome! First Post to beginnings!

First Post! So, i need to ask you guys a question. is there a way to group posts into separate sections? i'm going to be posting parts of my story, and im going to be posting stuff about whats going on with me, and i would just like it to be organized. im going to try and figure it out, but if i dont and you know how, please help me!!! :D